Aye Corona

 I'm sitting outside on my back patio and my head is starting to hurt. It's beautiful out, the sun is shining and it's 84 degrees. A welcome change from the almost 2 weeks of colder, rainier, nasty weather. Thanks to the Coronavirus, or COVID-19 as it's being referred to, we've been self isolating. Being stuck inside is hard enough, but now it's gorgeous out. Why am I complaining? Because there is pollen everywhere. All over everything. I have allergies and asthma and the tabletop where my laptop is sitting on currently is a bright shade of yellowish green. And I can feel my nostrils tingling, and the mucus building a bit as the crap makes it's way up into my sinuses. I'm going to suffer later. I'll be surprised if my asthma doesn't get activated and I'm forced to give up my after dinner walk, a habit I've started since being forced to stay in my house.

The truth is, I'm desperate. For fresh air but also for freedom. I know one day this virus will go down in the books, but in the meantime here we are in a semi mandatory quarantine situation. It's pretty traumatizing. Especially for someone like myself with a few diagnosed mental illnesses. The depression is looming and I am fighting tooth and nail to keep that mother at bay, but it's not easy. My anxiety is peeking around a corner too, just waiting to pounce and my hypo mania is just starting to tickle me. I'm not laughing though.

When I type it out, it all sounds so trivial given the state of things. But in this moment, it's my reality. And all I can do is stay home, and pray. Pray for my father who is at high risk but still has to go to work as well as anyone else affected. Pray for mine and so many others' sanity. Pray that I blindly make my way through this situation. But the most important take away is that I may still be stuck, with a headache and allergies and asthma issues. But I'm still here. Be well.