Monday, March 30, 2020
Living without therapy
I got a call a few weeks ago about having my weekly therapy session, but this time it was about having 'teletherapy'. Basically therapy over the phone or on video chat. The assistant wanted my email address to get it up and running, but the fact is, I had to reject it. I have 3 kids at home. In the midst of this virus we are homeschooling which I can safely say I've NEVER anticipated ever doing. But we have no choice. What that also means however is that I can't do teletherapy. My husband is working from home, and I have no way of being alone in a private situation to talk openly about my issues. This is going to take a toll. It's already taken a toll. My anxiety is at bay for the moment but it's still simmering below the surface. But I've had moments, or hours and even days where I feel like I could jump out of my skin and others where I was a hair away from having a full on panic attack. All I can think about are all the people out there going through this as well. All the people that are living lives in a constant state of 'pause'. Living in a constant state of fear as we watch the numbers go up and hear about more and more people that are getting closer and closer to us. I am thinking about all of the people on the frontlines, the Dr's, nurses, assistants, techs, police, fire, that are risking their lives for others. All the while just hoping and praying we don't get the virus ourselves. I have asthma and a few other health issues so I am high risk and I've never felt like this before. So I need therapy. But I can't. I just have to suck it up for now and keep moving. In anticipation for the day when we all can 'un-pause' our lives and continue where we left off. God Willing.
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