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One of the interesting parts of having Bipolar disorder(yes there are some) is that you can encounter something called hypo mania(elevated mood/excitement for no reason). This happens in those with Bipolar "2" disorder where as with Bipolar "1" disorder you deal with mania(elevated mood with psychosis). Or sometimes you're in a sort of "F it" kind of mood so you tend to do things that you wouldn't normally do like in my case, stay up way too late. Those with bipolar disorder know all about the creativity and excitement that can happen from staying up all night, or even for many nights straight. You just feel like you're bursting with all sorts of vibes, possibilities and probably even delusions.

And when you have a mental illness, getting sleep, especially the right amount of sleep is beyond super important. It's equivalent to taking your daily meds. However, every once in a while you encounter something like today(Christmas). My kids woke me up this morning at 5AM to open presents. In past years we would have yelled at our kids to go back to bed for another hour, but this year, we were just as excited as they were. Now waking up at 5AM is unbearable for some(people like ME!) but others might be able to deal with it no problem the next day. For me, unfortunately that lack of the correct amount of sleep totally made my anxiety come back today. I haven't been anxious in what feels like a month thanks to med changes and choosing to go to bed earlier. But being that I was up late last night, wrapping presents, and getting everything ready for this morning, I have spent all day with my old friend anxiety.

Unfortunately hot flashes are a normal and more inconvenient part of my anxiety. They make me very uncomfortable and I did have a few mini panic attacks today as well. My mind raced, my heart pounded, and there were a few moments when even the sound of a repeated question from my 6 year old was going to send me over the edge. But I made it through. With breathing, and affirmation reminders, I was able to get through another day knowing that no matter how bad I feel with my illness, my track record of success in coping and making it, is 100%! Which always brightens my way when I'm having a tough time. And believe me, those days do come. But as my eyes grow so heavy I say this. If we can be gentle with ourselves and know that we are doing the best that we can, we can do so much more than we can ever imagine. Good Night!