Sleep

So I fell asleep sitting up on the couch last night and now I'm pretty tired today. I wish I were one of those people that I have seen that go to bed super early and are completely functional the next day. But alas I am not. Truth be told I don't even think I know anyone like that. And if I do know someone like that, well, I just don't think we should be friends anymore. Ha! Because I just can't compete with that. I used to use the old adage that staying up later was the only way I would have "me time". But that excuse isn't valid anymore because I hardly see my kids nowadays. My daughter who is 11 has grown really, really independent and likes to go for bike rides and spend time in her room. And my 2 young boys like to go outside and play with their friends outside or at their friends houses. So there's that excuse. The other "reason" is because I have bipolar disorder and my impulsiveness tells me to live a little and staying up late is about as exciting as it gets with breaking the rules around here. And frankly it's about the only decision that I can really make for myself. Everything is dictated by the clock. Breakfast, dropping kids off, cleaning, blogging, laundry, watching Netflix, picking up kids, making dinner and then the bedtime routine. I mean that's a pretty organized and busy day! I'm falling asleep as I'm typing this. ha! In any case we cannot control very much in our lives. Our schedules are made for us, our lives are full, obligations left to be met and people that need us. It's an intense, pressure filled life. So the night time comes, for me it's the most relaxing(for my anxiety) time because the kids are in bed, and safe. I get to sit down with a snack(or 2 or 3) and decide what "I" want to watch. I can get all cozy and warm under my blanket with my kitty cat laying beside me and watch my program or movie. I'm happy.
And then Zzzzzzz - Ya can't win!