Optimistic

 So lately I feel leveled out. Normal. I got a glimpse into what being normal feels like. I get those breakthroughs from time to time. And it's so easy, and smooth and calm. I can make good decisions and stay consistent. I can think ahead and plan and follow through quickly. That's not normal for me. 

So maybe that peace felt good after the high instead of the crash. I mean, it's so much better for me to be leveled out rather than depressed. And I ask myself. Is 'normal' sustainable? I don't know. But when I ask myself the bigger question, is 'dysfunction and chaos' sustainable? The answer is obvious. 

It will be time soon to try Lithium. I'm really hoping it's what I need. I know there is no 'cure'. But if I can find something that works, then that's great. I am optimistic. 

-V


"Be optimistic...don't ya be a grumpy...when the world gets bumpy, just smile, smile, smile and be happyyyy, don't wear a long face it's never in style...be optimistic and smiiiile!!" 
-Susan Sarandon in 'Anywhere but here'.